Now, I'll tell ya a tale that'll bust yer That only a few knew, ta start It all took place when our concert tour was booked at the SeaTac I'll guarantee ev'ry word's the truth Got ta prove it, too, 'Cause we all with a fella by the name a' Milton
Now Milton was tour director, Electrical plug connector An' the slave-drivin'-est conductor we ever seen in our lives He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya need rest? "The world care whether ya look yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with your ...and your wives!"
in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] Shall we at the airport?
He'd arrive in the nick a' time A good five ahead a' flight time like he'd been drug through a needle's eye He'd stand there, stoned and ta choke On his Egg McMuffin an' his Coke An' then he'd throw all the tickets on the and say "Check the bags and fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too weight? "We got forty-six pieces a' freight! "And if it don't go, who's gonna it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
We'd all get embarassed an' for the plane While Milton stood there, profane But somehow he always managed ta get on board ...in of a coma
When the drinks served up yonder...
Well, we at th' other end All the trouble seemed to commence Though Milton had ordered three station wagons, a truck and a limo And he'd phoned ahead to that Number Two Cussin' an' fussin' an' turnin' We'd always end up with two Datsoons and a
Now Milton took all a' that stuff in on the floor, an' kicked an' cried But we looked up to him for hope and salvation But we'd sink to the bottom a' hell he'd check us in a remote motel And he'd grab the by his shirt an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd shut himself in one-oh-four Let nobody in he swept the floor Adjusted the lampshade, the TV, fixed the faucet, called the promoter "Well, whaddya we're the warmup show? "You're puttin' me on! stars, ya know! "And ain't the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we gotta a hunnert percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a chauffered limosine and two air-conditioned rooms, please. "I'm Well, so's your wife! She's not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, stick it in my Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a good friend a' mine An' we'd stuck together on down that But there was one or two over which we just had to dee-bate Like Is not necessarily an assurance that the crowd gonna start throwin' tomatas An' ya arrive at four for a five o'clock show An' the stage ain't built an' no electricity About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut However, you give ol' four strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew show was gonna be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one up there in Washington We didn't get paid for a show done An' poor ol' Milton live with that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he himself in the bathroom An' then when he come out for an hour an' a half We figgered that somethin' was wrong, but we had to all doubt We transfixed in shock and horror When we busted down that there bathroom And I I never see a sight like that again; no, I don't There was nothin' to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' With a silent acapella hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now we're gettin' ready, next December To put another concert tour And I'm sad to say ol' ain't a-gonna be with us No, it ain't be exactly the same When introduce us without his name So Milton, wherever you are, we you miss us! See, Milton has moved on the road the rainbow, lookin' for gold Yeah, he's up there the stage lights is always on But we can't forget that hair When last we saw him a-settin' Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' sound asleep on the