I'd to call somebody to the stage that you know as a folk singer But that you met in his other role
Paul is a with a unique point of view and commentary And in this capacity, and gentlemen Please welcome with me to the stage, my good My compatriot, Stookey
That was the sound of a ball Or if you're a ping-pong enthusiast, that was a of a ping-pong ball Except you'll hear
That's the sound of a between a golfer and a ping-pong enthusiast
I played golf today, 18 holes I played golf, I did pretty good too, I think you would have been very of me Four. Five. Six
I like sports very much There's a vast of sports that I'm not invlved in. water skiing In order to water ski, really you should swim, You're not gonna stay up all the time, now And I don't to swim, really You what swimming is to me? Staying when I'm in the water. I'll do to stay afloat Even swallow Co2
But I didn't come out here to talk sports I really, I came out here, Peter about status And I cannot think of one material object that has more status in this the automobile And it at a very early age now, right? I mean, now at 14, kids want the car, They get cheaters permits so they can You get a learners at 15, a cheaters permit at 14 And it's, I guess it's really necessary You a lot of face calling up a girl and asking her If you can peddle right over and her up, right?
don't really go for that any more And if you look back on all the times you had the from a few interesting saturday evenings You got to admit that one of the times of all Was a sunday afternoon, if you get the car You come down the stairs, ker-clunk ker-clunk ker-clunk mom, dad, gonna the car, ha haaa Beautiful day for a drive, I I'll go out Ha haaa haaa ha
And then, and then they level you with that killer, right? HAVE YOU DONE HOMEWORK?
If you were fast, you'd say, mom, dad, I done my homework? Run out the You pick up 3 other pretenders, 3 oclock in the afternoon The is now 10 oclock in the evening The 4 guys are in the same car Well, you wanna do? I don't know, whada you do? Hey, we've been driving for 7 Hey, I got an idea, he he Yeah, what's Lets go to a drive-in resturant and at the girls, hehehe Oh, ok Well, here they are, but they're all our high school Wait a minute, there's a car over there There's a place right next to them, go get it
Don't at 'em Here's the conversation in the girls car you never
Here come they are Don't at 'em
Remember the time when drive-ins opened And the girls used to come out to take order? Now you're lucky you know, if you get a in slacks who delivers it I understand they're even putting in conveyor belts in some drive-in There was a time when the little girls came running out in short little them? You in And the girl would come running up May I take order sir? Yes, but I believe it's on the menu, ha ha They don't, they don't let you flirt any now They give you a little green box with a button on it A little speaker grill,
Oh, ok, um, We'd like one deluxe special extra The one you have out here with the white cup With that whatever that's in there, take it, whatever it is And uh, we'd like two hamburgers medium with everything on 'em And one hamburger, no, one hamburger, meat, no One frank, and chiliburgers, ok? Alright, and we'd like two chocolate shakes, regular thick, for you know THICK And we'd two strawberry shakes thin Water them down, or milk them a little, ok 'Cause we got somebody here with chapped lips and they'd it thin Can, you understand I mean? Are you
Well, could you us what we have please?
And four take it And after you get your order in, you got at least 40 minutes to wait Even if just a cup of coffee you got 40 minutes to wait And you get out of your car, right Remember was a time when drive-ins first opened You used to in and get out, exchange hellos, greetings Evidentally some people getting out and exchanging Something a little heavier than hellos and They have policemen there to you in your car You can be 47 years old and drop your credit on the ground Officer, my wallet I care who you are kid back in the car If you do get out, you be very careful Because the new have radar now So you have to crawl on belly between the cars You get over to the of the car Psssst here! I can't come up, they'll me Put down window
windows, huh? Whoo, this is a fancy car Hey, you're a fancy broad
If you did manage to get out of the drive-in resturant without being There was a sporting event taking place at the light Remember, all of two characters Mr. Businessman who drove a family sedan with black-wall tires Automatic Seated next to him in a 1941 primer coated Ford With it's rear end 2 off the ground cans for mufflers With his back to the drivers window, his left arm draped over the steering His right hand onto the gearshift lever A on lips sat THE KID
Well, Mr. Businessman has had his bands tightened, and Those of you who are not sure what I mean By having bands tightened The bands are the in an automatic transmission Which actually affect the change Uh huh, give you an example is an automobile with tight bands
This is an with loose bands
Well, Mr. Businessman has just had his bands And he thinks that he will THE KID a thing or two Meanwhile, THE KID Has inched these 2 fingers up his left arm This is the universal signlanguage among teenagers for You probably recall Winston during the war years Which assumed meant V for victory Actually if you'll recall Winston Churchill smokes a cigar, right? He to hold it in here, right? And occationally he would turn to his friends on the and say a drag? See, and the kids it up The changes The light changes to amber and Mr. Businessman to get very daring He pulls the automatic down into low He puts one on the brake Still the foot on the brake, in order to get that extra fast start He pulls the transmission down into low And pushes down on the five inches The car is hemorraging He knows, he knows, he knows he's gonna have to have band job He's not let THE KID show him up The light to green, Mr. Businessman is off
Looks at the speedometer, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97, 98 an hour Looks out the window and The Kids not there You know what's
He looks in the rear view mirror and The Kids back at the corner He never anybody He just there and scares the hell out of them